Man is nothing. This is why when compared with a woman, a man’s ego seems so insubstantial, pretentious, and laughable because men are always instinctively torn between their psychological and biological ‘man-ness’ and Essential Man (the ‘Man of the Work’, in Gurdjieff's language). A man’s ego is a thin illusionary veneer over vast nothingness. Men’s neuroses arise from trying to be something.
Woman is everything. This is why when compared with a man, a woman’s ego seems scattered, confused, overwhelmed, and hysterical because women are caught between their psychological and biological drive to ‘exclusivity’ and their Essential Woman. Women’s neuroses arise from trying to be one particular thing, yet a woman’s ego demands that since she is everything, she must therefore control everything. This shows up as staking out her energetic and relational territories in every situation.
Men like one big thing. Women like a lot of little things.
When a man owns his pre-primal energetic nothingness, then he has the capacity to be a space holder, like the number zero. A man can function in the world being the space through which the Bright Principles (facets of Consciousness At Large, or Archetypal Love) which he serves can do their work in the world. A mature man lives in the service of something greater than himself.
When a woman owns her pre-primal energetic everythingness, then she has the capacity to know all, be everywhere, and feel everything all at once. A woman can fill the space held by a man, in the same way that flowers, fruits and vegetables grow to fill a well-defined garden.
It is important to know that the man may need to trim back the plants in the garden of woman now and then, and a woman may need to bring the man ‘down to Earth’, here and now. It has been said that, after all, “Women are the practical ones.” R. A. Heinlein.
There are two kinds of shit. There is bullshit, which is saying things that are
very, very relevant, but completely untrue. This is what men do. Then there is cowshit, which is saying things that are inescapably and undeniably true, but completely irrelevant. This is what women do.
The negative unconscious manifestation of the masculine is stupidity. The negative unconscious manifestation of the feminine is evil. (What a great combination for juicy Low Drama story-making: The stupid fly meets the evil spider! Low Drama supreme!)
When a woman cuts loose with a tirade of evil cowshit, the man’s automatic, stupid, response is to return a volley of bullshit, and vice versa. This instantly creates a Gremlin feeding-frenzy from which there is no escape but Gremlin satiation. Valuing energetic resources too much to waste in such frivolous exchanges forces an Alchemist to discover nonlinear ways to spin out of the normally inescapable vortex.
It is well known that a communication persists until it is received. If what the woman is saying is not authentically heard by the man, then she must continue to deliver it. (Men, if you are wondering why she keeps saying the same things to you over and over again, consider the possibility that it is because you have not yet heard her.) The man must learn to listen to piercing truths unerringly delivered by precise, broadband feminine perceptions, to let them in and receive the full brunt of their impact. In allowing himself to be hit by the arrows of truth, a man cannot help but get off it and die. What the Alchemist learns is the specific skill of how to ‘die daily’ and not be killed. If after unloading her full quiver of cowshit into the man’s heart the man is killed, meaning depressed, isolated, exhausted, spiteful and mean-spirited, where is the spaceholder of her life for her to make love to?
Women must choose the results they wish to create. Do they want to live with a disempowered ignorant brute or with a real man? In everyday life there is always an abundance of evidence to support either story. When one woman received the feedback that she is making her man wrong, she replies, “I am NOT making him wrong. He IS wrong! I am just pointing it out to him!”
In the same way, every man chooses who he lives with. Is she a cold-hearted, nagging mother-substitute, or is she the gateway to heaven on Earth? There will always be evidence to support either story. An Alchemist was once heard to say, “I have been living with the same woman for thirty years. Each morning I wake up, and I don’t know who she is.”